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This may sound crass but I really believe one of the first things that should be on a wedding checklist is: register! Yes of course all gifting should be spontaneous, at the will of the giver and so on. But guests really do like to plan ahead and set aside enough money to buy a nice and meaningful gift.

Also a bridal registry is essential to any couple who doesn’t a.) want two dozen toasters to return and b.)want two dozen juicers to return. The registry gives the engaged couple a chance to really think about the brass tacks of their future life together. They sit down together and think beyond parties and travels together and ask what do they need to keep house.

Although it may sound pessimistic, a lot of couples simply get too stressed out over wedding plans and elope. If the first thing on the wedding checklist is to register then any tactful well meaning friends can simply buy a gift from the bridal registry and send it to the couple when things calm down. A wedding gift is still in good taste for an eloped couple even though soliciting them with wedding invitations is not. An announcement after the fact is used to spread the word about this change in plans.

Once a couple has registered any casual acquaintance or distant relative who isn’t likely to attend the wedding can simply inquire where the couple is registered. Then sending a gift and a card is a relatively minor gesture but a thoughtful one. Truly the bridal registry is the most thoughtful thing that a couple can do for their friends, family and co-workers. After the wants, needs and various patterns are all picked out then the couple can just go about the rest of the items on their wedding checklist. If they receive the gifts they want then fine, if they don’t then that’s fine too. The wedding won’t be affected any further by this matter.

Posted by Hope on Thursday, August 16th, 2007 at 1:40 am.